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Come Scout of the Closet
by Spence Justii

I feel terrible for the family of the Boy Scout struck by lightning and left brain dead, really, I do. But maybe this is a sign from God. Maybe it's time for the ol' Boys' network to rethink its position on letting gays hold visible leadership roles in the organization. Lord knows somebody's got to give them a makeover ...
CHARLOTTESVILLE, Virginia -The University of Virginia issued an historic apology for the use of slave labor during the construction of the institution. On the 264th anniversary of the birth of Thomas Jefferson, the University's founder, the school expressed its regret for using slaves to build and serve the school. Soon after receiving news of the formal apology, Jews around the world demanded a similar apology from Egypt for that country's use of Jewish slave labor during the construction of the pyramids ...
LONDON- In the spirit of celebrating the legacy of a great dead Brit, Princes William and Harry have signed on long-dead '80s pop stars Duran Duran to play a concert for Princess Diana's charity next summer...
 

Iraq's "Mrs. Anthrax" was released from US custody just in time for Channukah celebrations around the world. Citing falty intelligence, US officials laughed as they explained she was originally detained because of a "cultural misunderstanding." In actuality, she was the Middle East president of the metal band Anthrax's fan club.

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